- Be able to do the splits
- Be able to do a handstand
- Learn how to cook actual meals and not just desserts and pastries
- Well-defined abs, arms, and shoulders
- Be a pilot EVEN IF IT MEANS DESIGNING MY OWN AIRCRAFT TO ACCOMMODATE FOR MY HEIGHT GOD DAMMIT
- Learn to swim
- LASIK once my eyes are stable enough
- Be an astronaut
- Develop a real, working sonic screwdriver
Y U NO RESPOND?!
It’s been more than a week!
I have to leave soon!
We’re running out of time!
Me: Daddy! Look at this! *excitedly showing the letter of eligibility to Tau Beta Pi*
Dad: What’s this? *reads*
Me: I’m eligible! It’s an honor society!
Dad: Good… Do we have to pay?
I know we’re not exactly the richest family, but does finances have to come into every little good thing we come across? Can’t you just be proud of me?
He did this in middle school or high school, too. I got a letter from the National Honor Society recognizing my achievements. Told me to ignore it. Didn’t even want to get the plaque with my name on it because we’d have to pay for it.
Didn’t order senior portraits either.
Whatever. Daddy issues.
What always irritated me about you was the fact that you jump the gun and give up the moment something goes wrong. And then you list all the excuses as to why it’s not worth it anymore.
Also, you’ve known for at least two years that your alarm clock is unreliable, but you refuse to get a new one.