January 2010
New Year's Resolutions
Taking my cue from Liz.
Stop being such a fucking hermit crab and get out of the house more.
Exercise. At least the recommended 20 minutes a day, 3 times a week.
Eat your vegetables. I know sprouts are gross, but you could at least pretend to be a dinosaur eating leaves off of trees when you eat broccoli.
Birth control. Or something to regulate your period. This nearly-two-month cycle shit has...
December 2009
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The Customer is Not Always Right
Caller: “Is this the store that sells those little Christmas trees in different colors? Including the one in black?”
Me: “Yes, it is. Are you interested in one?”
Caller: “No! I want to complain! You’re selling black Christmas trees! That’s satanic!”
Me: “I’m sorry. We sell lots of other colors, too. Pink, purple, neon green, silver.”
Caller: “Your store is...
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Today, while watching the Wizard of Oz, I noticed that while Dorothy is saying her goodbyes, she tells the Scarecrow that she’ll miss him the most RIGHT IN FRONT of the Tin-man and the Cowardly Lion. Bitch move. MLIA.
Drops of Jupiter in her hair...
One of the little girls in my apartment complex had a cat. A few weeks ago, she found out she had to move but couldn’t take the cat along, so she went around the complex, asking if anyone would take the cat in. I guess no one could, because the little girl is gone, but her cat is still hanging around here. I felt pretty bad, so every now and then, when I would see the cat outside my...
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Today, I found out that Jason Earles, who plays Jackson in Hannah Montana, is actually 32 years old. Creepy? Yes, yes indeed. MLIA
32?!
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“They were like the 90’s Jonas Brothers, except better.”
– My sister when describing Hanson.
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Today, my family told me I was adopted. My whole family is white. I’m black. I think I figured it out. MLIA
It might have been just a formality, but it’s still pretty funny. I wonder how the rest of that conversation went.
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Awkward Turtle...
Today, I had Christmas dinner with Nick and his family. It was going pretty well until after dinner, when his two step-brothers started fighting. The older step-brother walked out, leaving Nick’s step-dad to come into the game room where it happened and scream at the younger step-brother about what happened. And I was stuck in the same room, too awkward to leave. This continued for a good...
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Today I found out about a 10-year-old boy who has been harrassed by his classmates because he refuses to say the Pledge of Allegiance. Why? He says that until gays and lesbians have equal rights, there isn’t really “liberty and justice for all”. Kids with the courage to stand up for their fellow human beings GMH.
GivesMeHope.com
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“Today, I woke up holding a tangerine. I am so confused. MLIA.”
One day, if I come across a friend who is sound asleep, I will put a random object in their hand and see how they will react.
Better yet, a random object that they don’t even have around their house.
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Reblog if you miss Glee.
fuckyeahglee:
fuckyeahkevinandjenna:
fuckyeahcheerios:
fuckyeahfinnhudson:
fuckyeahmarkandlea:
puckrachel:
fuckyeahbrittany-santana:
fuckyeahothergleeks:
fuckyeahquinnfabray:
fuckyeahjaymamays:
(via iamagleek)
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guys, kevin jonas is no longer a virgin.
erameline:
aseriesofserendipities:
just thought i’d put that out there.
Hahahaha this post made my LIFE.
However, just ‘cause he’s married now doesn’t really mean anything, TBH.
Wtf he’s married? Isn’t he like… our age? o.O
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“every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. and, the atoms in your...”
– lawrence krauss (via jenini/writer-a) (via piratekitten) (via delacroix)
I really, really like this.
(via erameline)
I’m a star!
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